In my opinion

I am having one of those type of days when I question if what I am doing is the right thing.

I think being nice to everyone I need is a good thing. My parents raised me to show respect to everyone and I have raised !my children to do the same. But some of the other teenagers that my kids are friends with are very rude and disrespectful to everyone they see. I hate having to tell my kids that they can not hang out with the other kids but what am I suppose to do.
I don't let my kids back talk me or show me any disrespect and if they do then they lose access to everything outside our home for a couple of days and before they are allowed outside they have to apologize to me and tell me how they disrespected me. The other kids think I am to tough on my kids but I think everyone should show respect to everyone.
I know that it will make my kids better people as they grow but sometimes I question is it right for me to raise them this way with the way the world is spiraling out of control.  

Making people happy

Well today is a so so day woke up with a fever and chills so that tells me I have to take some meds and rest today to fight off what ever is trying to make me sick. Any way been a long couple of weeks I worked 18 days in a row and I know that is what is making me feel this way today.

So my thought for the day is show everyone a little love or respect.

Believe it or not if you show everyone you pass by today just a little love or respect it makes them feel better and makes your day so much happier. You will feel so much better about yourself and you get to make someone else feel good even for a few minutes. I know this is true because I do it everyday. I show everyone that I meet a little love and I watch their faces light up.

Most of the people I see I simple smile and say hello while looking them in the eyes. You would be surprised how many people don't look each other in the eyes when they are talking to each other. If I know the person then I will address them with a Mr or Ms before their first name. So if I see Kathy then I say hello Ms Kathy and I watch as her face lights up just because I showed her some love or respect. The way my heart lightens when I see some one happy to know that I care makes me happy.

I love giving people just a little bit of happiness everyday. It makes my day go by just a little easier. I take a special pride in my work so that everyone will have a little bit of joy and happiness.  I think about some of the people that I work with and wonder why they have a job that deals with the public when they have such a sour attitude. Then I make it my mission to make them laugh and feel better about themselves no matter what it takes.  I am one of the people that if you need the shirt off my back I would remove it and hand it to you.

I know most of us try to have a good day but some times some things just get to us so much that we forget to enjoy life or we take things for granted. I love life and everyone in life. So with that thought I want to wish u all a great and wonderful day.

so much going on and time for a rant

Hi all. It has been a crazy week so far for me and not over till next Tuesday. Today I woke up with a migraine from hell. Took me a while to get rid of it. Then I got a message that I was being called into work on my day off. I asked them to check with one of the other ladies that work at the mini mart but no one else could work so of course I covered the shift.

I have worked 15 days in a row now and still have 4 more to go. But my boss is a ladies that I would do anything for. She helped me when I thought all was lost and has stood beside me against a lot of bullshit that happens in a same town.

We are the only store in a town of 550 people if lucky. I cook food for most of the people that live in town and I love to cook so for me it is a great job. I just wish that people would realize that we are the town restaurant and treat us with the respect that they would treat the employees of a restaurant in the big city.

Don't get me wrong I love my job but we are not like the fast food joint in the city. We actually start cooking after we take the order so none of the food at mini mart is precook unless it is our weekly special. The hamburgers and tenderloins and pizza we serve are made to order and nothing is cooked a head of time and some time people need to remember that and not get upset with me when it takes a few extra minutes to cook their food.

Okay done with my rant thank you for listening m

today is a good day so far

Today is good so far but a lot of the day is still to come.

I woke up to a good surprise today my youngest son, who is 17 years old, told me he loves me for a change.  I was shocked to say the least. You have to understand that my son David is a quiet child as far as talking to mom is concerned.  I have raised three boys by myself. Even when I was with their father I was the one who raised my sons. Their father was more interested in gambling then being at the boys ball games or their school programs.  Don't get me wrong I enjoyed every minute I have with my sons and would not change a thing we have done in the past. 

 People are always talking about what legacy they are going to leave the world when they past and I know that my legacy is my children having a compassion for people that has no bounds. I have taught my children to look for the good in everybody no matter what.  No matter what life throws at them they look for the good.  

I wanted my children to have an easy life but being a single mother of 2 living and 1 deceased kids has not been easy for us.  My boys know their older brother and they know he loved us and watches us every minute of everyday. My boys also learned no matter what never hit a woman. They had to watch as their father hit me and all it took was one time of him hitting me in front of the boys and I packed up a few clothes for each iof us and we were gone. 

My boys surprised me last year on fathers day and took me out for being both mother and father to them. We talked about how hard it has been for us but how they would not have changed a thing we have done in the past and how the appreciated they way I stood up as both parents. It made me feel so good to know that I have raised them to be well adjusted men for this world.  

Okay so I rambled but it has started out wonderful knowing my sons love me.  

Okay this is my first blog so here it goes.

I am a mother of 3 wonderful gifts from god.  I am so happy for the sons that god granted me the opportunity to raise. My oldest son was killed when he was 7 years old and that was 19 years ago. I still struggle with the grief and emptiness I have in my heart and soul for my son.  I remember being told to be strong and not show the hurt and devastation I was feeling when my son first past away. I was told to be strong for my family and yes I was strong. I had to be. My second son was in the ICU at the hospital and I was pregnant with my third son. I love all my children and some part of me understand why I had to be strong but when is it my turn to show my grieve. Everyone thinks they know what is good for me but they don't know about the nightmares and no sleep I go through.  I am being told I am over protective of my children well damn I think I have that right after losing one.

I was stupid when I was growing up and thought that the only way to proved happiness to my kids was with money. So I worked every chance I got. But when the police showed up at my job I knew how stupid I had been.  I was called in on a Saturday and sent my kids with the babysitter not knowing she was going to take them joy riding 40 miles away. They ran a stop sign and was broad sided. The car my kids were in was thrown 3000 feet into a field and my son Michael watched his brother Randy die. I learned that day that no job or amount of money is more important then my family.

I wish I could make people understand it is the little things in life that matter not how much material stiff a person has. I know my son is with God and I know when it is my time I will get to see him again. Right now I live in the little things and let my surviving sons know just how much I love them and how important they are.  Please do not take anything for granted.

I watch and listen to everyone raising their kids today and think to myself if only they knew how precious their kids are.